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Remembering Coach Relph: 'He's not done teaching us'
Catholic high school football coach leaves lasting legacy
By Joyce Coronel, The Catholic Sun
January 3, 2008
CHANDLER — Friends and family gathered in the Seton Catholic High School gymnasium Dec. 16 to pay tribute to Jim Relph, a longtime Catholic educator and coach who impacted the lives of thousands of students, parents and fellow teachers.
The prayer service, led by Deacon Craig Hintze and Tim Smith, both of whom played football for Coach Relph in the 1970s, drew more than 200 people from both the Seton and former Gerard High School communities.
Smith led the crowd in the singing of both the Gerard and Seton fight songs. Photos of Relph, copies of old yearbooks and a large cutout of the Redcoat mascot adorned the stage in the Seton gym.
Many in the crowd wore red, the school color for both Gerard and Seton. Football players in attendance invariably characterized Relph, who died Dec. 11, as “tough but fair.”
Smith described Relph as “a Renaissance man, equally comfortable planning a defensive strategy on the football field and how to tackle people as he was with simile, metaphor and the intricacies of poetry.”
Relph had won prizes for some of his poetry and was the co-moderator of Seton’s literary magazine.
Caryn Kirkegaard Haggerty, a 1976 Gerard grad and mother of a Seton student, said she was 14 years old when she met the then-29-year-old Relph.
“What I remember about Mr. Relph is that he was strong, loud, strict, genuine and compassionate, with a booming voice and a heart of gold,” she said.
Her most vivid memory is how Relph tried to help her make sense of the loss of her brother, Hal, a Gerard football player.
“Mr. Relph’s hugs were so strong they squeezed the life out of you,” she said.
She also remembered how hard Relph and her dad fought to keep Gerard open. The school closed in 1987, but Relph “found another great community at Seton.”
Deacon Hintze said that Relph is not done teaching yet.
“He helps us think about death; he’s still teaching us the value of time. In 1974 Gerard finally won a state championship… he’s a world champion in our hearts,” he said.
“The biggest coaching lesson he’s teaching us in the end, all that’s going to matter is love,” he added. “Coach, we love you.”
Mike Giltner, a 1974 Gerard grad, had fond memories of a coach he said “always took the time for you.”
“He believed in what he did and had a passion for it. You would play your heart out for him,” he said. Giltner said he remembers how the football team would pray on their knees in the chapel before and after each game.
Eric Winterbottom, a member of the Gerard class of 1973, said Relph had a big impact on his life. “He called up Wabash College [in Indiana] and got a football scholarship for me, without being asked.”
Roger LeBlanc, who taught at Gerard for six years and was the athletic director for three, said, “When I got hired at Gerard, Jim Relph was a legend over there — He was Mr. Redcoat.”
LeBlanc added that it was under Coach Relph’s command that Gerard won its first football state championship in the fall of 1974.
Colleen Tighe, a senior at Seton and a member of the girls’ basketball team, said she knew Relph for four years. The student, who was a little choked up recalling his impact on her life, said that at least once a week the two would have a serious talk.
“You had an urge to tell him what was going on,” she said, noting Relph’s passion for his family and God, and describing him as “a generous, loving man who gave without wanting anything in return… He had a presence about him. You could feel his strength, love and courage flowing.”
“He gave you so much confidence,” she said. “You knew he really loved you.”
Tighe had recently been to visit Relph at a hospice facility close to Seton’s campus. Staff had warned her that he was in a weakened state, but she said, “The man I saw was still Mr. Relph.”
“He wanted to be there for his family and for all of us. He was a great man,” she said. The crowd laughed in agreement when Tighe said Relph’s “hands could probably crush my skull.”
Relph, who was a linebacker at Pomona College, spent a 40-year career in Catholic education and athletics beginning in 1969. He leaves behind three children: Jim, Gerard class of 1982; Katie, Gerard class of 1985; and Kim, Seton class of 1988.
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