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Book Review
'Sun' writer finds meaning in loss
Reviewed by Andrew Junker, ajunker@catholicsun.org
July 18, 2008
Chris Benguhe does not like quick fix, self-help books.
In fact, in “Overcoming Life’s 7 Common Tragedies: Opportunities for Discovering God,” Benguhe — who writes a column for The Catholic Sun — spends a fair amount of time distancing himself from “pop psychology” and the “self-help slingers,” whose books weigh down the shelves at popular bookstores.
He finds a number of objectionable premises used by many self-help writers. One is the idea that any problem — including such inherently human “problems” as pain and loss — can be fixed by following their detailed plans.
Two, these books often insist that the reader is the center of the universe.
“Perhaps the worst of these pop secrets is that the world completely revolves around how you see it,” Benguhe writes. “Nobody else matters. Reality is all about you and, in fact, you create your own experience, your own life.”
This pernicious philosophy, he argues, actually leads to more unhappiness. The cure for such self-centeredness is what occupies the rest of his book.
“For all of us, there is a reality, and no amount of positive thinking or perception-twisting rhetoric is going to make it go away. We can make that reality meaningful and constructive not by becoming obsessed with always changing it, but by finding a noble purpose in the way we deal with it, the way we respond to the millions of different criteria that are beyond our control,” he writes. “That purpose is to love and be loved by others.”
It’s a love rooted in Christ and a life lived by His example that will truly help readers weather the common storms of life, Benguhe writes.
He lists the seven common tragedies as: job blues; breakups, divorce and loneliness; illness; money trouble; family trouble; death; and bad choices, dead ends, and giving up.
“When life goes wrong, or we go wrong, we must realize that our ‘failure’ is a tremendous opportunity to let God into our lives by searching our souls and by letting others help,” Benguhe writes.
“Failure is so often the best way for God to send the love of others into our lives and to destroy our sinful egoism in order to open our hearts to the help that is needed to receive all the glory of His love,” he writes.
Benguhe relates stories exemplifying the pitfalls that accompany these seven tragedies. He also tells of people who were able to get through them by the grace of God and the help of others.
Of all the stories, though, one of the more interesting is Benguhe’s own. He tells a bit of it in his chapter on job woes.
Benguhe is a local man who was ambitious and rose through the ranks of tabloid journalism — first with the National Enquirer, then with People, and finally went back to the tabloids as a senior editor.
Then, in 1999, the Columbine high school shooting happened.
“The world of journalism had reached its lowest point with the insensitive and sensational coverage nationwide, making it appear as if every child in America was in danger of being shot at their desks, even as the rate of violence in schools was decreasing year after year,” Benguhe writes.
“A little voice inside me told me — no more! I went home that day on leave and quit a month later, respectfully explaining my conflict of conscience to my boss,” he writes.
Now he writes books like “Overcoming Life’s 7 Common Tragedies,” as well as pens a regular column for The Catholic Sun. The summation of his own path in life exemplifies the attitude and wisdom shared through many anecdotes and stories in his new book.
“The answers, the light, and the relief from our struggle do not always come quickly,” he writes. “Sometimes it takes years, and we may spend many of those years ignoring the positive potential of our struggles, only to wake up one day to see the light.”
Andrew Junker is a staff writer for The Catholic Sun. Comments are welcome. Send e-mail to letters@catholicsun.org.
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