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JANUARY 3, 2008
The Virtue of Love
Part Four: Love of Husband and Wife
Our human ability to love is purified and uplifted by the theological virtue of love. We see this especially in Christian marriage, the sacramental union of husband and wife.
The love that God infuses in our souls makes us capable of loving Him in return and of handing on that love to others. This handing on of divine love, this being a channel of His love, reaches a sacramental level in marriage, which images the love of Christ for the Church.
The wedding feast of the Lamb
God established the married state at the very beginning of creation to be an intimate communion of life and love (Cf. Gen 2:24). He Himself is its creator. Marriage, then, is not a purely human institution; it is designed by God. It has a two-fold purpose, both of which are linked with love, namely unity and procreation. But even though designed by God, the institution of marriage did not preserve its pristine beauty. It was seriously damaged and weakened by original sin.
But sin did not have the last word. Indeed, the Lord promised a Redeemer who would heal the effects of sin and bring about a new covenant between God and the human family. What Christ, our Redeemer, won for us on the Cross, was more than the restoration of marriage to its original dignity in the created order; it also raised it to a whole new level, far beyond what anyone could have imagined. In fact, Christ so truly entered into a loving communion with us in His Mystical Body, the Church, that He prepared us for (Rev 19:7) “the wedding-feast of the Lamb.”
The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains this wondrous mystery of love in the following way (#1615), “By coming to restore the original order of creation disturbed by sin, He Himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the Reign of God.”
‘The Great Mystery’
St. Paul delves more deeply into the spousal meaning of Christ’s love for the Church in his letter to the Ephesians (5:25-26), “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church. He gave Himself up for her to make her holy.” Not only did Christ leave couples an example to follow in marriage but He also gave them the grace and strength to live out that mystery. Marital fidelity then is the fruit of Christ’s cross.
Is it any wonder that couples find in the Eucharist the renewing source of their love? The words Jesus spoke at the Last Supper resound with deep meaning for husband and wife: “This is my Body given up for you.” And those words have even greater meaning when prayerfully considered in the light of Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross.
The Cross, far from being a sign of defeat, is a sign of victory over sin and death. It is called the Tree of Life, and is indeed the ultimate source of fruitfulness for every authentic form of human love, above all married love. Thus, the Catechism says (#1617), “The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist. Christian marriage in its turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of Christ and the Church.”
The bond of marriage
Perhaps the most moving moment in a wedding is the exchange of vows, with words that include the following, “I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” Marriage goes beyond the contractual link of two persons who are free to marry, although this is a necessary part. For the consent of the couple is sealed by God Himself, “What God has joined man must not divide.” A new reality comes into being through the free human act of the man and woman and the consummation of their marriage. It becomes an irrevocable communion of life and love, guaranteed by God’s own fidelity. It becomes indissoluble.
Not every one, as we know, looks upon indissolubility as a precious gift. It conjures up in some minds the image of being trapped in unhappiness. Divorce, on the other hand, is often held up in our contemporary culture as a desirable solution, with little effort to encourage married couples to persevere when things get tough.
But, in fact, indissolubility promises and delivers untold blessings to a married couple. It reminds them in times of difficulty that “nothing is impossible with God” (Lk 1:37). It assists them in putting on the mind and heart of Christ who “came not to be served but to serve.” It enables to them to assist one another to grow in holiness. It ensures that their children will grow up in a home with both mother and father to love and provide for them. In short, it helps to perfect their love.
The blessing of children
Marriage, by its very nature, is ordered to the procreation of children and to their education. As Vatican II taught in Gaudium et Spes, (#50), “Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves… wishing to associate them in a special way in His own creative work, God blessed man and woman with the words: ‘Be fruitful and multiply.’ Hence, true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it, without diminishment of the other ends of marriage, are directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Savior.”
Parents, who are the principal and first teachers of their children, show their love for them by handing on the truth through both word and example. At the same time, children bring many blessing to their parents. With the help of God’s love, the family becomes a sanctuary of life and the Church in miniature, a domestic Church.
The family also is the primary way that peace is brought into the world. As Pope Benedict XVI recently wrote in his Message for the 2008 World Day of Peace, “Indeed, in a healthy family life we experience some of the fundamental elements of peace: justice and love between brothers and sisters, the role of authority expressed by parents, loving concern for the members who are weaker because of youth, sickness or old age, mutual help in the necessities of life, readiness to accept others, and if necessary, to forgive them. For this reason, the family is the first and indispensable teacher of peace.”
Spouses who are not blest by God with children can still have a marriage full of meaning. The grace that they receive in marriage overflows in other ways for the benefit of the larger community and the Church. Theirs is a fruitfulness of the Spirit, a gift of self through spiritual motherhood and fatherhood that is indispensable to building a civilization of love and a culture of life.
In the next issue of The Catholic Sun, we shall begin our consideration of the spiritual and corporal works of mercy, which are other forms of the virtue of love.
For further reading:
-- Benedict XVI, “2008 World Day of Peace Message”
-- Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1601-1666
-- Vatican II, Gaudium et spes,” #47-52
Copyright 2008 The Catholic Sun.
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