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AUGUST 7, 2008
Bear wrongs patiently
Part six of a series on the Spiritual Works of Mercy
“If it’s wrong, it’s wrong. Period!!! Don’t grin and bear it. Do something about it! And for heaven’s sake, don’t just be patient!”
Have you ever heard an exchange like that? Or have you ever had such an exchange inside your own head? The thought of bearing a wrong patiently is something that most people find abhorrent. It seems to run counter to our firmly established sense of immediate justice.
But the word of God extols the virtue of patience, and saints down through the centuries have trod the path of patience to the heights of heroic sanctity. It might be worthwhile, then, to take a second look at this virtue that all of us find tough to put into practice, and to consider the Fifth Work of Mercy: “Bear wrongs patiently.”
Can’t love without patience
St. Paul reminds us (Cf. 1 Cor 13:4) that love is patient. By this, he means that love forms and shapes this virtue, moving us to practice it. At the same time, patience is needed by love. St. Cyprian insists on this fact, saying (Cf. De Bona Patientia), “Take patience away from it, and thus forsaken, love will not last; take away the substance of enduring and tolerating, and it attempts to last with no roots or strength.”
Every one of us has multiple opportunities to practice patience. Even in the best of marriages, patience is needed. In the most golden of friendships, it is required. Among brothers and sisters, patience keeps fraternal love alive. If this is true of the closest of human relationships, how much greater the need for patience with persons we meet in the public square, or in our place of work, at the parish, in school and at the mall. And how could we begin to love our enemies, let alone our friends, if the virtue of patience has not first been forged in our own heart?
Jesus reminds us (Mt 5:46), “…if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers only; what is unusual about that? Do not pagans do the same?” Bearing wrongs patiently prepares us to love in every circumstance; refusing to do so renders authentic love impossible.
The patience of Jesus
The mockery Jesus sustained during His passion is an example of patience put to its highest test. All those who mocked Jesus made the same charge (Lk 23:35, Cf. also Lk 23:37, 39). “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the chosen one, the Messiah of God.” Precisely because Jesus bore wrongs patiently and “saved others” rather than Himself, He was dismissed as an impostor. But, in fact, this is the essence of love. Indeed Jesus, who is love incarnate, forgives and pleads on behalf of the guilty, rather than repaying injury for injury. He patiently takes our sins upon Himself. Indeed, rather than saving Himself, He saved all others. No wonder we call Him our merciful Savior!
St. Peter urges us to learn from the courageous example of our suffering Messiah (1 Pet 2:19-24), “For whenever anyone bears the pain of unjust suffering because of consciousness of God, that is a grace. …Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps. He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth. When He was insulted, He returned no insult; when he suffered, He did not threaten… He Himself bore our sins in His body upon the cross, so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness.”
Jesus did not suffer out of weakness. Rather, He suffered out of love. When He was insulted, He returned no insults. Although He was unjustly condemned, He was a meek as a lamb before the slaughter and submitted without protest. He took our injustice upon Himself and, in its place, He established a true and everlasting justice.
Love never fails
To bear wrongs patiently, we need to trust that the love of God will ultimately prevail. As St. Paul assures us (1 Cor 13:8), “Love never fails.” It may seem to fail, it may seem too weak to prevail, and it may seem powerless in face of evil. But, in fact, love never fails. For God is love.
Patient persons do not accept evil indiscriminately, nor do they flee from what is wrong. But, having done all they can to oppose evil and to establish justice, they then place the rest in God’s hands, trusting in His mercy and plan.
To bear wrongs patiently, in other words, you have to be a person of hope. You have to believe firmly, despite all hardship and suffering, in the promise of God (Jer 29:11), “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope.”
Bearing ‘wrongs’ at home
This work of mercy needs to begin at home. Not that we won’t encounter wrongs outside the home that need to be opposed and/or borne with patience, but because we inevitably encounter them in the closest of human relationships. The problem begins with the fact that none of us is perfect; we all make mistakes and hurt others, even those we most dearly love. This problem is exacerbated by the difficulty we have in deciding about the “wrongs.” Who’s wrong and who’s right? Who ultimately decides? What happens when there’s a standoff? Are there not times when both husband and wife bear “wrongs” that the other considers “right”? Do not friends do this? And bishops and priests and deacons? And parents and teens? And neighbors and colleagues?
In a world where the “father of lies” works overtime, and in one where our finite minds only see a part of the whole picture, we come down, at times, on different sides of important issues, on painful issues. How do we move forward at such times, after all our best remedies have fallen short?
At times like this, we are called to a “mutual bearing of wrongs.” We are called to endure the “wrong” of the other with patience; or better yet, we are called to patiently love the other as long as the question of who is “wrong” cannot be resolved. No wonder Fyodor Dostoevsky said in “Brothers Karamazov,” “Love in reality is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.” Since love never fails, when we bear wrongs patiently, including the “wrongs” that cannot be resolved, Christ is present among us; and in Him we find mercy and truth.
Copyright 2008 The Catholic Sun.
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