A Better View by Chris Benguhe: Looking for love? Make sure you listen to God

Valentine’s Day was last weekend, so I hope you honored that person in whatever sincere manner you saw fit. It didn’t have to be elaborate, but it better have been sincere — if you know what’s good for you.

But if you are not in a relationship, please don’t allow yourself to sink into a malaise of desperation and depression because of all the extra amor in the air.

Instead, why not consider some of the deeper ideas behind Valentine’s Day. What are the deeper ideas behind Valentine’s Day? Who was this St. Valentine, anyway?

The Church recognizes three individuals named Valentine who were martyred for the faith, though St. Valentine has been dropped from the Roman calendar of official feasts. How many St. Valentines there were remains a mystery, but historians have some general ideas.

Some historians think he was a priest in the third century who was beheaded because he continued to marry soldiers after the Roman Emperor outlawed single soldiers from marrying.

Other historians say St. Valentine helped and gave sanctuary to would-be Christian martyrs, and he was executed for that.

But whatever the case, St. Valentine clearly believed that absolute principles, like true love, devotion to God and opposition to human execution, were noble causes worth dying for.

That’s quite an inspiration for us today living in the world of “convenient” love, where relationships are often based on desperation and self-service instead of inspiration and respect.

I have written more than a few times in this column about how desperation was a deadly disease that breaks the heart and kills the spirit by reducing us to our base physical instincts and superficial needs. And the most deadly and dangerous place of all for that desperation to rear its ugly head is in the arena of romantic love.

This leads so many of us to throw ourselves thoughtlessly and heartlessly headlong into relationships in the name of romance. When, in actuality, it is desperation that is motivating us with a popular cultural message that tells us to find a mate now, or else we are lost.

True, blessed love between a man and woman is an incredible and sincere gift that’s worth waiting for. But it cannot be forced, bought or bargained for. But it will come when we follow God’s chosen path.

And what better way to follow that path than to reach out and love the world in that way that St. Valentine did, whoever he was.

Chris Benguhe is a columnist for The Catholic Sun. Please send comments to letters@catholicsun.org.

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