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COLUMNS
Life on the ‘mommy-track’:
Worth more than meets the eye
May 20, 2010 | The Catholic Sun
I opened up the official-looking envelope from the Social Security Administration and glanced at what has become a familiar sight: a long row of zeroes stretching from 1989 to 2001.
The zeroes stand for the 13 busiest years of my life — the years I stayed home to care for the five sons God entrusted to my husband and me. Every year when the SSA statement arrives, I look at that line of zeroes and think back to what it represents.
In the eyes of the world, it represents a failure of sorts. A failure to achieve, a failure to grow, a failure to count for something. In the eyes of my children — and more importantly, our God, nothing could be further from the truth.
Reality check
When I left my work as a legal assistant and translator at a Phoenix law firm in 1988, my employers were disappointed. “Can’t you get a babysitter?” they asked. They even offered to send me to law school and make me a partner in the firm upon graduation. I have to admit, it sounded tempting.
And yet fulltime mommy-hood was something I had dreamed of for years. My husband had a good job, and I envisioned a future with, say, three sons and three daughters, all of them perfectly well-behaved.
What I got instead was a reality check. I soon realized that motherhood was a lot tougher than any office job. The hours alone will kill you, and the working conditions — let’s just say they’re often sub-optimal.
If you’ve ever stepped on a Lego in the middle of the night when tending to a sick child or tried to potty train a boy who’d rather not take a break from his toys, you know exactly what I mean.
And five sons — what was God thinking? What of my dreams of mother-daughter shopping trips and matching Easter dresses?
God, it seems, has a sense of humor. He knows just what we need in this life in order to grow closer to Him and He allows us a small share in His cross. My dreams of a daughter ultimately proved illusory. Teenagers, I discovered, can break your heart sometimes. That’s motherhood. Sticky fingers, science projects, driving lessons and in my case, endless food preparation.
Did I mention diapers? My estimate is that I’ve changed at least 10,000 over the years.
A new chapter
The “mommy track” as it’s referred to, is sometimes considered career suicide. After five years’ absence from the workplace, some experts say, you may as well be starting from ground zero. You’re out of the loop.
When my youngest child turned 3 years old, I had the opportunity to begin writing for The Catholic Sun. I was told to put together a résumé and prepare for an interview.
My heart sank. Would being able to recite “Green Eggs and Ham” from memory count for anything? How about my impressive diaper-changing record? It had been years since I’d earned a regular paycheck and I was a nervous wreck driving to the interview.
One of the first questions asked brought a smile to my lips. “How do you manage multiple projects and deadlines?” the managing editor inquired innocently. “Are you kidding?” I thought to myself. “That’s what moms do best.” I got the job.
Our youngest just turned 11 years old last month and I’ve taken on more responsibilities than ever at The Catholic Sun. I miss holding a baby, I miss reading bedtime stories and I miss the tooth fairy. The years at home were well spent and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Daily Mass with the kids, baking cookies, frequent trips to the park and the library are all priceless memories.
The pay for my 13-year hiatus? Let’s just say it was heavenly.
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