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COLUMNS
Less is more:
Raising families in
a down-turned economy
June 17, 2010 | The Catholic Sun
One of our family’s little indulgences is watching Tivo’d episodes of the show “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” together. We set up TV trays, heat up leftovers and are each time moved by the stories of generosity and selflessness of those families who are given a new dwelling to replace one that was falling apart.
The recipients of the new home are almost always parents who have put their children and their community above material possessions. Of course the show’s crew has been called in because, while the parents were focusing on the work of family or community service, their home fell into in complete dilapidation.
And contrary to typical reality television, the length of the show continues to focus on the goodness of the family and the thousand-plus volunteers from their community who are building the home, rather than the incredible material overtones of the house they will be given. At the show’s end, the tone has remained one of gratitude to the selflessness of people of good will who seem to make the world go around. Except for my cynicism which wonders why they don’t give the family a housekeeper and yard company to care for the new mansion, I am moved by the goodness of the new home’s owners and the volunteers whose only motivation seems to be to “pay it forward.”
A part of me would like to see a follow-up a year later. While I don’t believe that every family that practices selflessness will forget such virtue simply because they have a home full of new things, I know that there is something about our physical surroundings which helps to train us in the discipline of selflessness.
On one EM:HE episode in particular, a loving couple with four children of their own had taken seven neglected nieces and nephews into their two-bedroom, 800-square-foot home. This family of now 13 members was existing on little more than love and gospel music when they were rescued by the show. Their relationships were so deep that the children called each other “brother” and “sister” indiscriminately, and one cousin had even donated a kidney to another in order to save her life. Their love was inspiring and their living conditions dismal.
After the two-hour special, in which the family’s incredible closeness (always mentioned in conjunction with their impressively close quarters) was the running theme, the makeover produced a somewhat oxymoronic solution: a 5,000-square-foot home in which every child had his or her own room, with their name on the door, and an array of furniture and paraphernalia to fit their individual style and preferences. Upon seeing his room for the first time, one of the older boys just hugged his pillow and cried, “It’s mine. All mine!”
No longer having a house that was falling apart was an obvious relief to the two generous and loving parents who were rendered speechless by the whole thing. Five tall boys sharing floor space and couches as sleeping quarters surely would not be missed. Or would it? It would be an interesting follow up, anyway.
Word to the wise
In our down-turned economy, which followed the wholesale redefinition of “necessity,” it can be tempting for parents to think they are not providing well for their family. Especially if you are taking cues from the kind-hearted Ty Pennington.
Other than the comfort of knowing God is still on the throne and that He has a plan “to prosper and not harm” us (Jer 29:11), let me impart to you, struggling parent, the credo of my deceased grandmother.
She, who never entered a restaurant without a coupon and never left it without a doggie bag, was a product of the Great Depression. She never would have dreamed that providing a cell phone for a busy teen, or even a second car for a busy family, was a necessity. She thought generic ice cream and a deck of cards, not TV trays and Tivo, were the perfect ingredients for a Saturday night. So from my grandmother’s wisdom to our ears, a reminder that “less is more.”
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