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APRIL 3, 2008
Trip down memory lane reminds us of life’s meaning
Lent used to be the time for Catholics to reflect on our past so we could make a brand new start at Easter.
But reflecting on the past, even looking forward to the future, gets a real bum rap nowadays. Pop psychologists say to live in the moment, move on and let go of the past.
But last week, in less than 24 hours, I ran into my first love, randomly came across one of my old yearbooks in a box of knickknacks, and talked to a friend I hadn’t heard from in over a decade. While I tried to “stay in the now,” life was calling on the back line, and it would have been rude not to answer.
The first stop on my trip down memory lane was with the sweet 16 who stole my heart all those years ago. We didn’t part harmoniously. I was a typical teenage boy, and when I decided it was time to move on, I did so without much warning or thought as to how it should be done. I just snuck out the back door of her heart.
Now I know all is fair in love and war, and an age-old case of puppy love gone wrong isn’t a national emergency. But running into her gave me the chance to tell her she changed my life for the better, that she didn’t do anything wrong, and I was sorry if I caused her any pain. It also made me realize old habits die hard and maybe I still have a few I should break when it comes to how I wage romance.
Reminders of past
The next day I cleaned out my garage, one of those things I avoided at all costs for the last four years because I didn’t want to get bogged down in the past. But since I was having trouble fitting my car in between the clutter, it was time.
In the middle of a whole lot of junk, I found one of my old high school yearbooks. As I thumbed through my pubescent dreams I happened upon those corny senior sayings meant to sum up all your childhood memories and hopes for the future in one trite phrase. I read mine and all of my friends’, accented by the silly nicknames we gave each other.
After excusing the bad poetry and the uneducated optimism of youth, it reminded this fast approaching middle-age guy of all the energy and verve we had. It also reminded me of how involved we all were in each other’s lives, how intertwined were our identities, our goals and our fun. It’s hard to think about that period of my life without them.
The next day, I called one of those old friends out of the blue and found out he was having another baby; I didn’t know about the first one or the wife he had.
We compared notes, blessings and hard knocks. Then we talked about the good old times, all the things we did or didn’t do. What we remembered most was how we were always together back then, regardless of what we did. We were a team.
Then it hit me — what all these memories and magnifications of my past had in common was people — people who made me care and made me feel cared for.
Now maybe living in the past is not a good idea, but every once in a while a forgotten moment or two can remind us what our lives are really about.
Maybe they will help us to see how much we have grown, or how we still need to grow.
They can reinvigorate us and remind us of how we wanted to take on the world, and help us to rediscover all that energy we once had.
But ultimately, hopefully they can remind us most of the people whom we loved and who loved us, and how important it is for us to appreciate them.
And in those remembered moments, we just might find our future too, and all the reasons for living “in the now.”
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