|
APRIL 3, 2008
Having and sharing 'the right stuff' with others
As a young boy, I lived in a neighborhood with lots of kids and many watchful, caring adults.
I have particularly vivid recollections of one fascinating personality. “Aunt Lil,” as we came to call her, was a bundle of energy. She was the life of every neighborhood gathering and maintained a wide circle of devoted friends. Her large front porch was a magnet for the kids in the neighborhood who loved to assemble there, share all the exciting news in their lives and hear her lively advice.
One day in an odd moment of conversation, Aunt Lil told several of us kids something that just got stuck in my memory. Referring to a friend who was suffering from a debilitating disease, she stated with unusual gravity that she herself could never bear up under such hardships. She simply had a hard time even contemplating such difficulties.
Well, as life would have it, some years later Aunt Lil suffered a series of hardships of her own. She developed and recovered from a difficult cancer. Then her 21-year-old engaged daughter died tragically of a sudden stroke. Shortly after that, the cancer returned and Aunt Lil suffered through an extended decline.
Remarkably, she showed an incredible fortitude during these trials. In the context of her earlier statement, I was astonished at her quiet courage and perseverance. Somehow she subdued the fearfulness she had shared with me that day.
Those recollections frequently return as I see seniors and adults with disabilities, assisted by our staff at the Foundation for Senior Living, coping every day with chronic illnesses, difficult personal losses and severe physical limitations. In addition, the majority of our clients struggle with a lack of economic resources that further threatens their independence and sense of dignity. Aging, accidents and premature illness bring challenges that most of us, like my Aunt Lil, can find hard to comprehend and prefer not to contemplate.
And yet, interestingly enough, in my experience there doesn’t seem to be any necessary barrier between the compromised health of our seniors and disabled adults and the positive attitudes they reflect. Every day we see seniors who bravely reach out to find companionship and renewed energy. Many have endured personal losses at an age when their traditional family support system no longer exists. Our staff and participants at adult day health care centers, low income FSL housing sites, or nutrition centers often become their new family.
Every day we observe examples of great courage. We see restricted seniors actively involved in physical and recreational activities, practicing cherished skills, sharing their life stories and experiences, and encouraging their new companions to do likewise. We see young adults with traumatic brain injuries working puzzles, re-learning motor skills or simply enjoying the presence of other young people who share their difficulties and aspirations.
What is the ingredient that makes so many people able to face great challenges, remain cheerful and live with satisfaction within their available abilities? What allows individuals to overcome disappointments and fears and even reach out to others suffering distresses?
Attributes that come to mind include adaptability, strength, resolve and the special ability to focus on the present and on all the remaining gifts that life still offers. These skills, when present, appear to be wonderfully contagious. I see our clients drawn out one minute by a caring staff member and then shortly later engaging other seniors in conversation and encouraging them to join in the flow of activities.
So many of our seniors and young disabled adults, like my Aunt Lil, just seem to have what our early astronauts called “the right stuff” — something inside of them, often unexpected, just waiting to show itself when most needed. Some may see it as spontaneous courage, others as a learned response to loving support from family or friends.
I believe that this wonderful capacity to think and live positively in present reality, despite harsh distractions, is essentially an expression of faith in the essential goodness of life and the value of each of us as children of a caring Father.
Whatever our own individual description for this inner strength may be, may we all discover and recognize “the right stuff” in our own lives and share it with others when they need it most.
MARCH 6, 2008
What does it mean to be 'vulnerable' today?
At the Foundation for Senior Living we have been committed to helping seniors, adults with disabilities and their caregivers since 1974 when we were established as part of the Diocese of Phoenix and became a member of Catholic Charities USA. We are especially focused on helping the most “vulnerable” of our clients, those with the greatest needs and those in the most distress.
In so doing, we are following the social mission of the Church, as it has evolved through centuries of Catholic teachings on social justice. Central themes of these teachings include the sanctity of human life and the dignity of each human person. Because we are all created in the image of God, each of us is holy and deserves respect as individual creations of God the Father. We are called to live and grow in loving relationships within our family, our Church and our community. We have a special obligation to share our faith and support each other, especially the poor and the vulnerable.
The Church’s social mission is rooted in the Gospels and in Christ’s own parables and actions. As the Gospel writers recount Christ’s life, Jesus is constantly seen in community with others and engaging in simple daily acts such as fishing with His disciples, eating and drinking with friends and conversing with small groups. Jesus is seen participating in and blessing everyday life events. At the wedding in Cana, for instance, He turns water to wine to save the young couple and their family from embarrassment and to continue the wedding party’s celebration of holy marriage.
Helping those in need
Jesus’ greatest miracles, though, are performed for the poor and those most in distress. He cures beggars, the crippled and the blind. He relieves a grieving family by bringing Lazarus back to life. He cures lepers who were outcast from society. He tells the story of the Good Samaritan who helps the wounded traveler ignored by all others. So what can we learn from the Gospels about who deserves our help and what it means to be “vulnerable”?
Clearly the poor and the unrepresented deserve our special attention and priority. Low income brings many unwelcome burdens that accumulate and compound each other and are often visited on successive generations. Financial hardship can limit educational opportunities, make basic health care unavailable and place families and seniors on the edge of crisis. Every day we help seniors with chronic illness who could not afford treatment or, in many cases, basic meals without our help. There can be no doubt that serving these individuals is a core part of our mission as Catholics.
On reflection, though, it soon becomes clear that vulnerability has no financial boundaries. Regardless of income level, we all share a common humanity and experience most of the same life struggles. Our seniors are a perfect illustration. As my father is fond of saying, “Old age doesn’t come alone. It brings with it many uninvited companions. And we just have to learn to deal with them as part of our neighborhood.”
Among these companions are chronic conditions such as arthritis, diabetes and limited mobility, social and personal losses of spouse, friends and family, stress over lost or reduced physical capabilities, spiritual anxieties and frightening progressive illnesses such as dementia and Alzheimer’s. While financial resources may offer more choices in how to deal with each of these distresses, money cannot insulate anyone from these “companions.”
And so we need to expand our awareness of what it means to be vulnerable in order to make room for many who are not overtly in need, but are suffering nonetheless. Our sense of compassion must be broadened to recognize those elements of the human condition that we all share and were in fact recognized by Jesus Himself. In some cases, this means recognizing the vulnerability within ourselves — whether as seniors in need or family caregivers struggling to support our loved ones.
Following Christ’s lead
Whether we are driven to focus on seniors, adults with disabilities, families or children, let us consider a few practices exemplified by Jesus in the Gospels:
-- Provide comfort to others in need at every opportunity, showing special generosity and sensitivity to those with less material resources.
-- See ourselves in the eyes of others and recognize our common human frailties.
-- Give up the false pride that alleges that we are above need.
-- As a senior in need, a family caregiver or any other member of our Catholic community, share our need for help with others around us just as freely as we offer help and hope to all we can reach.
Learning more from our seniors
Posted February 7, 2008
I recently spoke with a woman who shared with me her struggle to care for her aging mother. She worked part time and was trying hard to maintain a normal family life for her husband and three young children.
She was exhausted, anxious and feeling guilty for failing to be a “good daughter, mother and wife.” Being the caregiver for a loved one without adequate support can cause enormous personal and family stress.
Whatever trials we confront, we all strive to maintain balance in our lives — financially, physically, socially and spiritually. And stress in one area of life can easily affect our total sense of well-being. We are, after all, complex beings, and struggle and uncertainty are an essential part of life — and important ingredients in our journey of faith.
The specific set of challenges each one of us faces, however, is not as important as how we approach and manage adversity. At the Foundation for Senior Living, we help clients every day who are struggling at the most basic levels to stay whole. Our seniors and adults with disabilities face truly elemental needs. They struggle to buy food and satisfy essential nutritional needs. They worry about finding or maintaining safe, clean shelter and wonder how they will keep the roof from leaking and get the heat pump working again. They struggle to take care of ailing spouses or aging parents.
Some of our clients are somewhat more economically secure but they face challenges on other fronts. They wonder how they will continue to live in their homes when their diabetes or arthritis or other physical impairments limit movement and undermine their ability to care adequately for their own needs. Others who have lost spouses or close friends or other family members feel isolated and depressed and struggle to see their way forward.
All of our clients are striving, in one way or another, against considerable hardships. Great lessons can be learned from those who are living most on the edge. Again and again, I find inspiration in the daily lives of our clients who confront burdens so much greater than my own yet so universal that we all can recognize ourselves in their eyes. Here are just a few admirable qualities I see in our clients as they bravely pursue their daily lives:
-- Steadfast belief in personal dignity and potential. Such conviction is an act of faith and acknowledges the divine source of life that bestows meaning and value on each of us. It allows us to celebrate and relish even the smallest of accomplishments and encourages us to focus on what we can do with what we are given. I see this pride of achievement repeatedly in the art work of seniors and disabled adults displayed in our adult day health care centers.
-- Gratefulness for help received from others and for one’s own special innate gifts. Being grateful is a choice freely available to each of us. It liberates us from fear and resentment and opens us to acceptance, thankfulness and trust. It is a fitting response to the gift of life. Our nurses encounter such gratitude daily as they bring relief and small comforts to their in-home patients.
-- Perseverance and patience. Living with limitations from normal aging or chronic health problems is not for sissies. People of spirit who focus on what they can still do and who move forward with resilience, step by step, consistently achieve more, live longer and enjoy life more fully. Every day we see aging seniors, living with determination born of faith and self-confidence, setting examples for all of us.
-- Community and interdependence. The wisest among us learn early that personal strength is reinforced and increased by living in community with others. Seniors in our FSL apartment communities thrive by adopting neighbors as new family members, checking in on each other, sharing meals and planning grocery runs. They stay strong by giving and caring.
Perhaps we simply have to remind ourselves that daily living is an act of faith and that coping with difficulties is essential for learning what it means to be human and part of a larger divine plan. Perhaps we need to remember that, regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in, the gifts we most need are already within our will to accept, and our greatest resources are the ones we share generously with those we love and serve.
Back to Top
Make hopefulness your lifelong companion
Posted January 4, 2008
Welcome to a New Year and all the excitement and plans that come along with it!
It seems remarkable to me that after so many years — I am counting into the 60s — the same natural instincts bubble up yet again to make me want to take stock of my life and look forward to the new year with expectancy and hope. Few of us can resist the seasonal urge to contemplate new opportunities for self-improvement.
If you are at all like me, you grant yourself immunity from last year’s unfulfilled resolutions. Overly careful review of past intentions formulated with conviction but mostly abandoned is easily dismissed in favor of a fresh start. I personally believe that this willingness to clear the slate and accept the call to hopefulness is a divine gift. It also seems consistent with our faith conviction that God understands our human weaknesses and offers countless acts of forgiveness to those who accept His message of hope.
The words of Pope St. Pius X serve as a reminder of the power of hope and how it is rooted in faith:
“Hope has been the sole companion of my life, the greatest aid in doubts, the strongest assistance in my weakness; hope, but not the hope in men, such as is thought to bring greater happiness and instead brings greater disaster, but hope in Christ, supported by the celestial promise that He will strengthen the weakest of men with a greatness of soul and divine help.”
The optimism that springs from faith and is celebrated each New Year is a powerful companion throughout our lives. While in youth it generally comes easily and in great abundance, hopefulness is sometimes more difficult to maintain as we age. Disappointments and trying experiences mount. Losses of friends and loved ones, illnesses and physical restrictions can all too easily preoccupy us. That is why our annual re-dedication to the spirit of hope is so important.
The real challenge of hope may be how we can keep this spirit alive all year long even through the discouragements we will inevitably face. The best method I have learned for nourishing hope in my own life is to continually reconnect with those few forces that always bring me strength and resilience — my faith in a loving God, my family and my ability to be of use to those around me.
This means staying present to our spiritual life. For seniors especially, it also means staying in contact with others and sharing generously and courageously the talents we possess. Whatever resources we have at our disposal, from the energy and exuberance of youth through the achievements and steadiness of middle age to the special perspective that comes with age, we all have special gifts that deserve to be continuously developed and, most importantly, shared with others.
As we go about deciding what resolutions we wish to make for the year ahead, let us therefore consider those things in our lives that build and sustain hopefulness. And let us remember to seek ways to share our sense of purpose and hope with those around us, of all ages, whom we see in need of encouragement. Such acts of generosity may themselves be the best means of finding our own source of hope and joy.
NOVEMBER 1, 2007
Seniors in poverty
I am happy to report some encouraging news on poverty rates for seniors.
The trend for senior poverty has declined slightly in recent years and dramatically since 1959 when a staggering 35 percent of elders lived in poverty. Today only 9 percent of seniors live in poverty. That’s slightly less than for adults age 19 to 64 and significantly less than the 17 percent of American children who live in poverty.
Such news is wonderfully welcome for seniors — unless, of course, you are one of those 3.4 million seniors still suffering from poverty. Poverty adds a crushing burden to the normal challenges of aging and to the medical, social and emotional vulnerabilities that accompany so many seniors.
Living on less than $806 a month for a single senior or $1,016 per month for a senior couple removes simple choices from life that others take for granted. If you are poor, you shop at only low price stores and buy the cheapest items — and only what you absolutely need.
Poverty also presents undesirable choices like deciding between buying food versus prescriptions. Poverty means unpleasant dependency in all sorts of ways.
A poor senior waits patiently for others to assess eligibility for government-funded health and social services and then hopes that the assigned provider will be caring and attentive to supporting personal dignity.
The single most important factor in reducing senior poverty is Social Security. It has provided a remarkable safety net for America’s seniors.
Without Social Security benefits, 47 percent of our elders today would live in poverty. For two-thirds of seniors, Social Security provides the majority of their income. For one-third of the elderly, it provides nearly all of their income.
Without Social Security benefits more than 52 percent of women over 65 would live below the poverty line. America’s mothers suffer from what social scientists call “accumulated disadvantages.” They earn less, serve as society’s primary caregivers, save less and are more dependent culturally on the kindness of others.
Ways to help
So the good news is that Social Security has been a triumphant success in preserving choice and dignity for American seniors.
But it is also precarious as we have all come to understand from the political dialogue in recent years. The future stability of the Social Security System, therefore, is clearly a critical issue for our seniors.
As individuals and as Catholics committed to social justice, what can we do to address the lingering problem of elder poverty? A few basic ideas come to mind:
-- Be an informed citizen: Understand the issues around Social Security as well as its historical role in combating senior poverty. Pay attention to the differences between alternative political approaches and proposed solutions to extending Social Security to future generations. Whatever your political persuasion, be sure that the interests of the poor and disadvantaged are served.
-- Be an informed Catholic: Read “A Place at the Table” by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops on our responsibility as Catholics to follow Christ’s challenge to serve the poor, the suffering and the disenfranchised. Understand that poverty is a moral issue and not merely a statistical matter.
-- Put a face on poverty: Be courageous as Christ was. Seek out opportunities to learn about poverty and to be personally touched by the actual faces of people in need. Visit a senior center in your community. Ask your pastor or your ministers of care about seniors and families in your own parish and what you can do to help.
-- Lead by example: Get involved! Donate, volunteer, and actively advocate for those who have no voice. Follow the lesson of Christ in the Gospels who demonstrated His message to the faithful by personally ministering to the poor, the sick and the outcast.
As we look forward to gathering our loved ones at the Thanksgiving table, let’s commit to seek out opportunities throughout the year to extend to others some of the same blessings and advantages we ourselves enjoy so abundantly.
October 4, 2007
It’s October: Time to enjoy the harvest, share in family traditions
Across our northern hemisphere the fall season brings with it harvest time, as it has throughout the ages of human civilization.
The harvest connects us to the past and to traditions long established in human experience, well before modern industrial agriculture. It is the culmination of the long, hard labor of preparing the soil, planting crops, and nourishing them daily with hope that all will go well.
What I personally love so much about the traditional harvest is that at its center is the family. Just as the summer called upon each member of the family to perform individual chores and work together toward expected results, the harvest is the time of accomplishment, and it too requires intensive work and cooperation to gather up the fruits of the family’s long labors together.
As each harvest concludes, work and expectancy turns to celebration and thankfulness. And so it should be for all of us. As children, parents or grandparents we have all shared incredible experiences of effort, hope, doubt, growth and accomplishment, and the harvest time provides an opportunity to take pride and joy in our common efforts and our close relationships.
I encourage each of us to celebrate this season of our lives. There is perhaps no better way of doing so than to come together and harvest our family stories. Stories have an incredible power to capture and reveal what we have shared together, how we have come to where we are today, and why we are so fortunate to have taken life’s journey together.
Stories also capture and transmit culture and beliefs. The recounting of American history, for instance, carries with it the assumptions and principles upon which our nation thrives. Ken Burns’ miniseries “The War,” recently shown on PBS, makes real the values that our older generation sacrificed so willingly to uphold.
And more central to our own faith tradition, the Gospels tell the story of the living Christ Who Himself powerfully conveyed the essence of His messages of love and faith through His many parables.
So let us use the cooler weather to assemble the full family for a special meal of celebration. Let’s share our stories and especially celebrate our seniors who can best connect us to our family traditions by recounting the history that binds us together.
Here are some simple ideas for creating opportunities for harvesting your family heritage:
-- Ask your aging parents or grandparents how they handled some particularly important time in their lives. Ask not only what they did but what it felt like. Invite them to share their most important stories and encourage them to tell some new ones.
-- Ask a child to interview his grandparent and then repeat to the rest of the family what he or she learned. Topics are endless, but for starters consider these: “How did Mom and Dad meet?” “What was Mom or Dad like as a 10-year-old?” “Where did you grow up and what was it like there?” “Where did you go to school and who was your best friend?” “How was life different when you were my age?”
-- Tell your children and grandparents (and your brothers and sisters) stories of your own that you may not have shared before. Invite them to ask questions and then share their own recollections.
-- Allow time for all family members to recount moments that you have all shared and that have become true “family tales.” These may be the ones that will be told years from now to your great-grandchildren.
Stories are no doubt among the richest forms of communication. They carry historical, emotional and ethical weight. They capture in many ways the most important “harvest” of our lives, and we are wise to share them generously with those we love. And by the way, don’t forget to write down the very best for safekeeping.
JULY 5, 2007
July is here: Time to celebrate your independence
July is upon us — the patriotic time of year when we wave our flags, attend fireworks shows, grill burgers, wear red, white and blue, and celebrate our nation’s independence. July 4 serves as an annual reminder of the freedom we enjoy as U.S. citizens, a freedom we all too often take for granted.
Independence is something we take for granted on a more personal level, too. This July, I’d like you to consider celebrating and promoting your independence by living it up. Don’t let the 100+ degree temperatures of summer slow you down, or keep you holed up inside in an air conditioned room. There is no bigger threat to independent living than a sedentary lifestyle.
If you’re scoffing at the very suggestion of setting foot outside, consider these safe alternatives to a walk in the hot sun:
- Spend time at the library. If our summer heat makes you want to stay inside, do it over a stack of books. There’s no better place to people watch, expand your mind and enjoy silence. You might even strike up a conversation with a new friend. Just remember to “shhhh, be quiet.”
- Get involved in your parish. In addition to attending Mass, consider becoming active in a parish ministry. You can brighten someone’s day by visiting the sick, teaching religious education classes, becoming an extraordinary minister of the Eucharist or spending time in adoration.
- Go to the nearest indoor shopping mall. Even if you’re short on cash, a visit to a shopping mall can be a great way to see what’s new and hip and trendy for those who can afford it. Many indoor malls also offer walking programs in the early morning hours before they open to the public.
- Drink lots of water. I know you hear this over and over during the summer, but it’s amazing how many people just don’t pay attention until they experience heat exhaustion or, worse yet, heat stroke. Health experts recommend between 1.5 and 2 liters per day, but this can vary according to your lifestyle. Here’s my rule of thumb: if you’re feeling thirsty, you’ve waited too long.
- Volunteer in a hospital. Nothing is better for the body and soul than serving others. All hospitals can use a few extra hands lending assistance to the often over-worked nursing staff. Give it a try. Volunteering could become your favorite prescription for feeling good inside and out.
- Tap into your talents. Start tapping, literally, or learn to swing dance to your old favorite tunes. The Valley is full of theater groups. Expand your singing ability beyond the shower and try out for a local choir or play. If you prefer sitting in the audience, enjoy the musical performances that take place in the evenings at parks throughout the summer.
- Check out local calendar listings. If you’re still at a loss for ideas to get out and about, take a look at your local newspaper for suggestions on everything from arts performance and writing classes to book clubs and volunteer opportunities. Before you use your newspaper as a table coaster, check it out for things to do in your local neighborhood.
For those seniors who are truly not up to the physical requirements of exercise, there are still some very constructive ways to promote your health and independence.
- Watch what you eat. Sometimes the heat takes away the desire to cook or eat. Just remember the truth behind the expression “you are what you eat.” If you want to feel fit and healthy, eat accordingly.
- Stay in touch with friends and relatives. Pick up the phone and call someone dear to you. Perhaps even better, call a friend or former co-worker or neighbor with whom you haven’t spoken in some time and reconnect. You may be amazed at how good you — and the other lucky person — will feel afterwards.
- Play games. Try a board game, puzzles, or memory exercises among many others. Involve a friend, a grandchild or a neighbor. And when no one else is available, remember that you can be your own best friend and engage yourself in fun mentally stimulating activities.
Independent living depends on you. If you want to promote your independence so you can do the things you want to do, when you want to do them, stay active, involved and engaged in life — at whatever level is appropriate for you. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself and for those you love.
Guy Mikkelsen is president and CEO of the Foundation for Senior Living. Send comments to letters@catholicsun.org.
MAY 3, 2007
Senior Living
Escape the heat: Adult children need a summer vacation, too
It’s that time of year again. Our Arizona weather is heating up, and families are starting to plan their summer “escape the heat” vacations.
Most of us consider summer getaways an important part of life — a time when we can escape the daily grind, relax and enjoy life.
Unfortunately for many adult children with aging parents, vacation getaways are becoming more challenging. Resources are available, however, to help families with their plans.
A common story
I recently met a woman who had postponed a restful and long-anticipated cruise for the third summer in a row to stay home and tend to her aging mother. She had no siblings to turn to, and couldn’t imagine asking neighbors or friends to lend a hand while she was away.
She felt she had no other options, so instead of taking a relaxing vacation and enjoying a greatly needed ocean cruise, she stayed home to do the things she had grown accustomed to doing as her mother’s only caregiver — running to the grocery store, picking up prescriptions, walking the dog and other miscellaneous caregiving tasks.
This woman’s story represents thousands of other individuals who unnecessarily cancel day trips and vacations because they are unaware of the resources available to them while they are away.
If you are one of those individuals, I have good news: There are other options that you can and should take advantage of for you own sake, as well as for the health and well-being of your parent.
Adult day health centers and professional in-home care services such as those provided by the Foundation for Senior Living are just a phone call away.
Don’t deny yourself the rest and relaxation you require. In the long run, taking the time to recharge your physical and emotional health will do far more good than harm — for you as well as for your parent.
Care by Design
The Foundation for Senior Living offers Care by Design, a fee-based program with a wide array of customized in-home services. These services are provided by professional, caring and compassionate care associates who will tend to your parents’ every need.
Even if your parent just needs a little companionship — someone to talk to while you are away — our Care by Design associates are well prepared to do that, too.
The next time you go on vacation, you can rest assured that your parents’ needs will be met — whether it’s grocery shopping and doing light housework or tending to their social, medical and physical needs.
While we can never replace a loving son or daughter, we can certainly do our best to make your parents feel loved and cared for in your absence.
Guy Mikkelsen is president and CEO of the Foundation for Senior Living. Comments are welcome. Please send e-mail to letters@catholicsun.org.
MARCH 1, 2007
Day centers serve the community on many levels
Thousands of Arizona families are unnecessarily taking on the full-time burden of caring for an adult with functional and/or cognitive disabilities because they are unaware of resources available to them.
Adult day center programs, such as the eight Adult Day Health Centers operated by the Foundation for Senior Living, serve a critical social function. Day centers are a community-based support, providing a stimulating and sensitive place for seniors and other adults. Day centers also support and assist the caregivers, and reduce the amount of time off employees take when caring for a family member.
Supervised care
Participants at day centers receive assistance tailored to their needs, which could include social, recreational, medical or therapeutic services. Day centers offer nursing supervision, individualized care planning, nutritious meals and snacks, restorative therapies and some transportation services. In recent years, day centers have expanded to serve adults of all ages, including those who have suffered a permanent disability.
That continuous need for care can create a drain on a family. Studies show that the caregivers often are a daughter or daughter-in-law, caring for an aging parent. They have deep convictions about the level of care their loved ones should receive, rooted in their sense of duty and respect. Day centers provide a caring environment so family members can be reassured that their loved ones are well cared for and safe. Caregivers can, with confidence, take a respite.
Many employers also are feeling the pinch of employees caring for adults who are physically or mentally disabled. More time is lost for care giving than sick leave. When employees know that their family member’s physical, emotional and social needs are being met, they are better focused and more productive at work.
Currently, there are more than 3,400 adult day centers nationwide. It is a service that has blossomed in response to a need in the community. Yet, there are many people who are afraid to turn the care of a loved one over to anyone else. Part of the challenge lies in not knowing what your care options are.
Assess your situation
When researching any level of care for a loved one, here are the questions you should ask:
-- What specific services are important to the person receiving care?
-- What do you, the caregiver, need?
-- Who owns, operates and/or sponsors the facility?
-- How long has the agency been operating the center or others like it?
-- How is the center licensed?
-- How is the center staff certified?
-- Are there references available for you to check?
-- What are the fees and how are payments structured?
-- Can the center provide help in securing funds, if you can’t afford it?
The Foundation for Senior Living has been providing a “home away from home” for our day center participants for more than 30 years. In fact, our South Mountain Village Adult Day Health Center, formerly El Rinconcito, opened in 1974 and was one of the first in the nation.
The Foundation for Senior Living also was the first in Arizona to have its day centers accredited by the Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities. You also can contact the local office of the Area Agency on Aging at (602) 264-2255 or online at www.aaaphx.org. If searching the Internet, try search terms such as “Adult Day Center” or “Aging Services.”
Right for you?
I hope you will take advantage of our history and knowledge of caring for adults who have disabilities. We welcome you to visit any one of our eight Adult Day Health Centers around the Valley to find out if a day center is the right choice for your family’s needs. More information is available online at www.fsl.org or by calling (602) 285-0505, ext. 167.
Mikkelsen is president and CEO of the Foundation for Senior Living.
Senior Living
Feb. 1, 2007
Alleviating poverty among our elderly
As part of our Catholic social teaching, we are urged to care for our poor. In keeping with this teaching, Catholic Charities USA has launched its aggressive campaign to cut poverty in half in our country by 2020.
As a member of CCUSA, the Foundation for Senior Living continues its support for this cause through its programs and services. FSL Community Action Programs in Wickenberg and Peoria provide seniors with emergency services such as food, utilities and rent.
The FSL food bank in Williams, as well as our local food pantry, aids clients with needed food supplements.
The Caring Baskets program, begun by FSL volunteers, delivers assembled baskets loaded with everything from food and personal hygiene items to cleaning products for new residents moving into our affordable or subsidized housing locations.
Through FSL’s Home Health and Home Care programs, nurses and health aides care for low-income elderly in their homes, enabling them to remain independent and living at home. Home Improvements provides home repairs and weatherization services for those in need.
Growing old in America brings concerns of economic security during old age.
Women are the largest subgroup of the elderly poor. The poverty rate for elderly women is almost twice the poverty rate for elderly men. Women tend to live longer than men and many elderly women are widows. Losing a spouse who was the major breadwinner, retiring from a job and paying for failing health in old age increases the risk of poverty for elderly women. When elderly women become poor, they have virtually no options to change their life circumstances.
Currently the Census Bureau reports that 11 percent or approximately 3,428,000 of those who are poor are over the age of 65 years. Although these numbers are staggering, poverty among the elderly had been reduced from 35 percent to 10 percent between 1960 and 1995. Social Security is the likely contributor to that decline in elderly poverty.
Another study found that in 1997, nearly half of all elderly people, 47.6 percent, had incomes below the poverty line before receiving Social Security benefits. Recently, Social Security has raised one in three elderly Americans out of poverty. These facts substantiate the importance of keeping Social Security a healthy and vital program.
To bring about success in promoting well-being for our elderly poor, each of us must do our part individually as well as collectively. The programs and volunteer opportunities at the Foundation for Senior Living focus on serving our seniors. I encourage you to elevate your awareness of the challenge to reduce poverty among our elderly and become an active participant in alleviating the problem in our communities.
Guy Mikkelsen is the president of Foundation for Senior Living.
Perspectives
December 7, 2006
Celebrate our families
As we become entrenched in holiday preparations and activities for this Christmas season, let’s be certain to take the time to celebrate our families.
Each person who makes up part of our family looks forward to the celebration of the birth of Jesus and the spirit of hope and excitement that it brings forth. In life, the announcement of a new baby’s arrival fills us with joy and exciting anticipation. Just as we await the future opportunity of sharing, nurturing and committing support for this new wonderful creation, we should also reflect upon the previous key moments in our lives and those family members who have come before us.
During this Christmas holiday, let’s spend some time and share the memories of our senior family members with them. Reflect on the roots and values that they instilled in us and celebrate the living history of our families. Take enough time to enjoy the stories of earlier holidays and recall the excitement and feelings of hope we felt as children ourselves. Let these recollections renew and propel our commitments of faith and care for those other families who share our world.
Let us fill this holiday with a sense of anticipation for the promise that each day holds just like the excitement a new baby brings. And may we look back with appreciation and support at the precious gift of family we have been given.
From our Foundation for Senior Living families, we wish you a most blessed and joy-filled Advent season.
Guy Mikkelsen is the president and CEO of the Foundation for Senior Living.
November 2, 2006
Caring for an aging loved one means being proactive
Over the holidays, many of you will spend quality time with parents with whom you’ve kept in touch by phone, e-mail or letters throughout the year. If you don’t see your parents more than a few times a year, you may notice that they have aged significantly.
Perhaps their memory is fading; their house is unkempt; they tell the same stories over and over; or they can’t remember names or even what they did last week. Eventually, there comes a time when you should be concerned and proactive regarding the continuing well-being of your parents.
Often times a parent will do everything they can to hide their inadequacies from their children because they fear that asking for help means losing their independence. Rather than pretend along with your parents that everything is fine, it’s up to adult children to be alert and recognize the following red flags:
-- Changes in weight;
-- Stacks of unpaid bills;
-- Odd buying habits, such as bulk purchases of items they will never use;
-- Medicine cabinets stocked with expired prescriptions;
-- Unhealthy eating habits;
-- Entering online contests;
-- Memory issues and confusion;
-- Wearing the same outfit several days in a row;
-- Expired, moldy food in the refrigerator; or
-- Little or no social interaction.
It’s also a good idea to run errands with mom or dad to see how they are at handling a car and remembering where they parked. It’s better to know in advance that their driving skills are lacking than to learn after an unfortunate car accident has occurred. Imagine also how much more difficult it is when an aging parent’s independent lifestyle ends abruptly due to a bad fall. Especially if the fall happened from changing a ceiling light bulb, or some other physical activity he or she shouldn’t be doing in the first place.
When approaching a parent about the need for professional caregiver assistance, consider how you would feel, or rather will feel, when you are in their shoes. Try easing your parent into acceptance by introducing the idea one small step at a time. For instance, a parent who has developed unhealthy eating habits may be receptive to letting someone come into the home to prepare healthy and delicious dinners each evening. Developing a relationship with a professional caregiver can be a major step to accepting additional, needed assistance.
The Foundation for Senior Living offers Care by Design — a fee-based, customized home and health care management service for seniors, individuals with disabilities and their families. Care by Design promotes and extends independent living by providing trained, professional caregivers who assist aging parents in the comfort and familiarity of their own home.
Care by Design services are customized to meet the needs of the parent — whether it be light housekeeping, errands, laundry and meal preparation, or skilled nursing. If you are already concerned about the health and welfare of an aging parent, you may want to call a Care by Design professional for a free, in-home evaluation. To schedule an evaluation, call (602) 285-0505, ext. 124.
Growing old can be tough, particularly if a parent feels they will lose their independence by asking for help. Because parents usually choose to ignore the need for assistance, it’s up to children to be alert, responsive, caring and sensitive, and there is no better time to start than the upcoming holiday season. By recognizing the red flags and knowing how and when to respond, you will likely avoid a crisis and ensure your parents continue to live with dignity.
Guy Mikkelsen is the president and CEO of the Foundation for Senior Living.
Oct. 5, 2006
Socialization is the best medication for healthy aging
When you hear the word “socialization,” what comes to mind? A round of golf, cocktails and dinner, or maybe swing dancing with your spouse pops into your head. The word conjures up pleasure and recreational activities and is necessary for all of us throughout our lives. Socialization is living in connection and community with friends and family, giving us the opportunity to enjoy and contribute to one another’s well-being.
As we grow older, our human connections may gradually dissipate as friends pass away or develop disabilities that prevent them from driving to get-togethers. This slow loss of friendships can be devastating, particularly for seniors who have established a lifetime of social interaction.
If you have an aging parent, you have probably witnessed first-hand the feelings of depression and isolation that can develop when a spouse, family member or friend passes away. Life may be profoundly disrupted for the one who is left behind, especially if there was dependence on the deceased person for social interaction.
Just as science has shown the importance of human interaction in the development of an infant, studies also show that socialization remains just as important as we age. During these later years, family members should keep an aging loved one involved in life to whatever extent is possible. The memories and laughter that can be shared among family members can be just as effective, if not more, than medication for a senior’s well-being.
If you are caring for an elderly person who is living at home or in an institutional environment, here are a few ways you can provide stimulation and socialization opportunities:
-- Attend a local performance. Middle schools and high schools offer performances for a nominal fee, and it’s a great way to get to know parents and children in the surrounding neighborhood.
-- Attend Sunday church services. Church is a great place to get your loved one involved in support groups and participating in spiritual discussions that are essential to everyone’s well-being.
-- Take trips to the salon to have hair and nails done on a regular schedule. Feeling well-groomed can provide an instant and positive effect on a senior’s mood.
-- Attend a local Little League or Pop Warner game. Watching neighborhood children participate in an exciting ball game is a sure way to boost a person’s outlook on life.
-- Spend time reminiscing with your loved one — whether it’s looking through photo albums or telling old family stories.
-- Make the elderly person feel needed by asking for a recipe, help with a minor home repair, or advice from time to time.
Feeling solely responsible as the “social coordinator” for a parent or relative can be stressful, particularly if you are also raising a family and holding down a job. I’ve seen far too many adult children experience never-ending pangs of guilt because they never feel they are spending enough time with a widowed parent. Nobody should experience this kind of burden, particularly when there are programs and services to aid seniors and their families during this phase of life.
The Foundation for Senior Living offers top-quality Adult Day Health Service centers at numerous locations around the Valley. These centers provide seniors with exceptional programs offering a wide range of social, recreational and therapeutic services in a caring environment.
Being compassionate and taking care of an aging loved one means being sensitive to their needs and the lifestyle they have been accustomed to throughout their life. You can’t expect elderly people who have been homebodies for most of their lives to suddenly feel the desire to be social, day in and day out. If possible, try to encourage social interaction as a way of life, early on. This ensures that a network of caring friends will always be there so loneliness is never a factor later in life.
If you’d like more information about the Foundation for Senior Living’s Adult Day Health Service centers, please call (602) 285-0505, ext. 151.
Guy Mikkelsen is the president and CEO of the Foundation for Senior Living.
Sept. 7, 2006
If home is where your heart is…
Do what you can to stay there
Everybody has experienced a few “Wow, I could have had a V8” moments in their life. Those are the times when you want to bonk yourself on the head for not doing something that could have been really beneficial when you had the chance.
I can spare you a few of those moments if you’re willing to give some careful consideration to one question — how and where do you want to live your senior years?
If you’ve already given some consideration to this question, you may be familiar with the buzz phrase “aging in place” — which essentially means remaining in one’s home safely, independently and comfortably regardless of age, disabilities or income. It’s the reassurance that you can stay in a familiar environment, enjoying the daily rituals and special events that make a house a “home” for the duration of your life.
Most seniors would rather not leave the comfort and familiarity of a place they’ve called home for most of their lives. If you have an elderly parent, you know first-hand just how traumatic it can be when they feel they are being uprooted and moved to unfamiliar territory because they can no longer live safely and independently in their home. It doesn’t have to be that way for your parents or you as you reach your senior years.
The Baby Boomer difference
Thanks to a population of 76 million who will be reaching retirement age over the next two decades, new trends are developing that will make aging in place more possible than ever before. Boomers today have high expectations for their futures, and rocking chairs, bingo and retirement centers are nowhere on that list. This demanding generation is driving new trends in building and remodeling that will pave the way for generations to come.
In fact, “aging in place” dominated the discussions at the 2006 National Association of Home Builders Show earlier this year. Forward thinking homebuilders recognize that Boomers want to live in houses, not healthcare institutions, and are incorporating “aging in place” features as a standard for new home developments.
What this means for new home buyers, is they are investing in a place they can confidently call “home” for a lifetime if they so choose.
The good news is that you don’t have to purchase a new home to enhance the quality of life for yourself or a loved one who is living with disabilities.
Here are a few simple and relatively inexpensive ways you can begin to create an “aging in place” environment in your own home:
-- Widen doorways to 36 inches to allow wheelchair entry to all rooms;
-- Lower standard 36-inch-high countertops to a 30-34 inch island with a sink and cut away the under-cabinet to allow for wheelchair access;
-- Replace round doorknobs with levered handles;
-- Raise ovens and dishwashers if necessary;
-- Position refrigerators away from corners so the door can open 135 degrees;
-- Use a refrigerator with a bottom freezer;
-- Install a cook top stove with knobs located in front;
-- Replace hard-to-grip kitchen knobs with D-shaped pulls;
-- Install paddle-type faucet handles;
-- Install hardwood or laminate flooring for better wheelchair mobility;
-- Use pedestal or wall-mounted bathroom sinks for wheelchair access;
-- Place frequently used items on lower shelves;
-- Install grab bars at back and sides of shower, tub and toilet;
-- Add ramps to front and back doors;
-- Lower the peephole at the front door; and
-- Lower light switches from the standard 48” height.
Of course, even the most accessible home may not be enough for someone who is experiencing multiple age-related disabilities. The Foundation for Senior Living offers Care by Design, a fee-based program that offers a wide array of customized in-home services that promote personal choice and independent living.
If you’d like more information on Care by Design services, or to arrange a free, in-home assessment, please call Sharon Praytor at (602) 285-0505, ext. 173.
Guy Mikkelsen is the president and CEO of the Foundation for Senior Living.
|
