When Richard and I married 39 years ago, our wedding day was joyful, beautiful and full of hope. Like most young couples, we looked forward to building a life together and believed we understood what marriage would ask of us.
What I know now is that the greatest blessing of marriage was not found in that single day. It unfolded slowly through ordinary moments, difficult seasons and the witness of couples who showed us what enduring love looks like.
The week I married Richard in 1987, his parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. At the time, I admired them, but I could not yet appreciate the depth of a love that had endured for four decades. Over the years, they have become one of the most important examples of marriage in our lives.
They showed up for one another, their family, their parish and their community — not through grand gestures, but through daily acts of kindness, encouragement, sacrifice and steadfast support. They lived the vows they had made in good times and hard times, in sickness and in health, through laughter and tears.
Life was not always easy for them, nor has it always been easy for us. Marriage is a gift, but it can also be messy. Burdens grow heavy. Worries arise. Difficult seasons test even strong relationships.
Yet walking through those seasons with someone you trust changes everything. Marriage becomes less about perfection and more about abiding love, less about feelings and more about faithful presence.
My father-in-law passed away in 2011, but the witness of his marriage continues to inspire Richard and me, as well as our grown sons in their own marriages. A faithful marriage leaves a legacy, even long after one spouse is gone.
Recently, Deacon Francis Staab, who serves at St. Mary Catholic Church in Kingman, Ariz., shared the grief he has experienced since losing his beloved wife, Marie, after 59 grace-filled years of marriage. He wears her wedding ring beside a crucifix around his neck and remains deeply connected to her through prayer.
What moved me most was that even in grief, he still seeks to serve others. After caring for Marie as her sole caregiver for several years, he now hopes to accompany hospice patients and their families, offering comfort and reminding them they are not alone.
That is what enduring love does. It forms hearts capable of sacrifice, compassion and service. It teaches us to love not only our spouse, but also the people God places before us.
Our culture often focuses on the wedding day, but the true beauty of marriage reveals itself over time — in hospital rooms, around crowded dinner tables, through financial struggles, while raising children, while caring for aging parents and choosing one another again each day.
I am grateful to the couples who have shown us how to live marriage faithfully. Their witness strengthened our own marriage and helped us navigate difficult seasons. After nearly 40 years, I understand that the greatest gift is not simply finding someone to love, but finding someone willing to walk beside you through every season of life — this is a love that reflects the very real presence of God.
