When I was a pastor at St. Rose in the Diocese of San Diego, we established a program for engaged couples called “Engaged in Love.” For four weeks, couples would attend Mass together, then gather with other engaged couples for donuts and coffee in the rectory. We’d then delve into the Sunday Gospel. Each couple would take some time to read the Scripture and reflect on two questions: What does this mean for me? And what does this mean for us?
On the fourth week, the whole parish community would extend their hands in prayer over the couples as the pastor gave the engagement blessing.
It was a beautiful tradition, and a fruitful one!
Couples leaned into Scripture, they fostered relationships with other couples and they became engaged in the life of the parish. It’s a wonderful example of what we are trying to foster for marriage and family life here in the Diocese of Phoenix.
As a Church, we are really good at understanding and teaching marriage in the theological and scholastic sense. For example, our programs delve deeply into what a sacrament is and how it supernaturally changes those who receive it.
This understanding is very important. But if we remain there, we miss something essential.
We miss the messiness and beauty of what it means to live the sacramental life “enfleshed.” In other words, we can miss the deeper sense of walking in relationship with Jesus and one another in the ups and downs of everyday life rather than simply fulfilling an obligation for an hour on Sundays.
Each couple in our diocese is wonderfully unique — in age, culture, family of origin, gifts and talents. And each one is entering into marriage in their own place on the journey. Marriage preparation and ongoing formation are an opportunity to meet couples right where they are — in the real messiness and struggles, celebrations and joys of life — walking alongside and providing formation and support along the way.
It’s a moment to foster a deep encounter for the couple with one another and with God. The type of encounter that leads to this “enfleshed” transformation, moving couples beyond simply going through the process of checking boxes to get married in the Church. The kind of transformation that inspires couples to really ponder deeply:
What does the sacrament of marriage look like in our life? What does it mean for us?
Our diocesan Office of Marriage, Family Life and Spirituality is actively building out a new vision to create such encounters for families and couples — engaged, newly married, seasoned, thriving and struggling alike. Encounters such that those on the journey know they are seen, accompanied, known and not walking alone.
To help build out this vision, the diocese will be hosting a series of listening sessions on the sacraments beginning this month. All are invited to come and share honest experiences on topics such as being welcomed (or not welcomed) in parishes when you approach the sacraments and how the sacraments serve as a moment of encounter with Christ, who sends us forth to bring Him to others.
The tagline of the listening sessions is: “Your voice. Your story. Your Church.” Whether you just entered the Church at Easter or you’ve been a practicing Catholic for 85 years, your experiences are of value to the Church. Hearing real, lived experiences will help us understand what is working well, what support is still needed and how the Church can continue to walk alongside and support individuals and families in the ups and downs of daily life.
To all couples, know of my prayers for you. Know that the Church is here to support you. And know that your vocation — the uniqueness and fullness of your journey — is a great and vital gift to the life of the Church.
For more information on the sacramental listening sessions, including what to expect, where the sessions will take place and how to find a listening session near you, click here.
