“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18 

In a solemn yet poignant outreach to mothers and fathers who have lost babies to abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth and other causes, the parish of St. Gabriel the Archangel in Cave Creek, Ariz., held its 3rd annual Memorial Mass for the Holy Innocents on Friday. 

Celebrated by candlelight in a dimly lit church nave and sanctuary, the rite featured the addition of 22 babies’ names to the parish’s permanent Memorial to Holy Innocents.  

“It’s a way for our community to pray in unity with bereaved moms and dads and offer them support,” explained Parish Coordinator of Communications and St. Gabriel’s Respecting Life Ministry member, Rebekah Polkoski. “It’s a really beautiful, intimate Mass.” 

The latest names were added to 63 others in a memorial begun in 2023. In addition to a wooden crib, the memorial contains a statue of St. Theresa of Lisieux as well as a bronze plaque bearing a quote from her mother, Zelie Martin. A mother of nine, Martin lost four of her children in infancy or early childhood, and is quoted as saying at one point, “We shall find our little ones again up above.” 

As worshippers entered the narthex prior to Mass, each was handed a lighted candle and carried it to their pew with them.  

This marked the first time the entire rite was celebrated by candlelight. 

“There’s a lot of emotion for parents, grandparents or anyone who has lost a child or a friend. So, we want it to be as solemn, respectful and comforting to those people as we can,” explained parish Respect Life Ministry member, Jody Meier. 

‘We all feel their pain’ 

The congregation sang hymns that included some well-known contemporary Christian songs, such as Mercy Me’s “I Can Only Imagine,” and Chris Tomlin’s “Amazing Grace [My Chains Are Gone].” 

Families who signed up in advance were given a pair of two-inch, light-colored engraved hearts. They were distributed during a ceremony with parents keeping one heart and placing the other inside the crib that had been carried to the front of the sanctuary by four members of the Knights of Columbus. 

At the conclusion of his homily, celebrant and pastor Fr. Chad King invited participants to receive their memorial hearts, as he read each baby’s name. A mother or father then placed one inside the memorial crib that had been carried to the front of the sanctuary, then was handed a white rose to take with them along with the other heart.  

The flower is considered a symbol of purity and innocence. 

Celebrated to help families heal, the Mass and ceremony also are intended as a source of comfort to the families from fellow believers. 

“There is nothing worse than losing a child,” said Meier. “We all feel their pain, we’re all praying for them. They’re all God’s children; God’s babies.”

‘Their babies are with Jesus’ 

In his homily, Fr. King said that God, as our Creator, knows each of us intimately. 

“He calls us by name. He calls every one of us. He knows us. He knows every hair on our head,” the priest said.

Whether living a full life or dying in the womb, every person “is sacred to God,” and He forgets no one, Fr. King explained.

“And you wouldn’t be here if you also didn’t remember,” he added.

“No mother — no matter how long they had a child forgets. Many of you have children who have not been born — you’ve suffered through miscarriage — or [delivered a child] stillborn. Some have had their children die quickly after birth. So, while you grieve, remember that God does not forget.”

Then, referencing the Church’s doctrine of the Communion of Saints – that all persons, in heaven, purgatory or earthly pilgrims – are unified through Jesus Christ, Fr. King said one can seek intercession from their child in heaven. 

That, Polkoski said, was the central message. 

“I think, above all else, we want parents to remember or maybe for the first time understand their babies are with Jesus. They’re with the Lord.” 

During a reception after Mass, the parish provided grief and healing resources, including brochures from Rachel’s Vineyard, a worldwide post-abortion retreat program, and Red Bird Ministries, a nationwide Catholic grief-support ministry. 

The evening touched mothers who had lost babies. 

Barb Guarracino, a parishioner of St. Joan of Arc in Phoenix, suffered a series of miscarriages after delivering one healthy child who has since grown into an adult. 

“This is powerful for me. It reminds me I need to keep praying because God has the souls of our babies,” she said. 

One young participant, underwent an abortion last year. She said she is sharing her experience at the clinic with others, hoping to open their eyes to the truth. A former attendee of a large nondenominational church, she began going to St. Gabriel a few months ago
and is enrolled in the parish’s RCIA.  

“I take responsibility. The Catholic Church has been forgiving. I just wanted to find peace and friends who are welcoming, and I found so much of that here.” 

Another participant, was accompanied by her husband as they received their memorial heart. At age 20, she underwent an abortion to conceal the pregnancy from her father. That was more than 40 years ago. It was her only child. 

“It has been difficult. I confessed it years ago, but I still think about it. You want to push it out of your mind, but it’s always there. Fr. [Chad] talked about how God never forgets [a child], and that this child is praying for you, interceding on your behalf. So, I was like, ‘Wow,’ [and] I asked this child to help me get closer to God.”
“This Mass is healing. But it’s so much more, because it heals your heart.” 

Engraved wooden hearts from prior Masses are in the Holy Innocents Memorial Crib before the 3rd annual memorial Mass at St. Gabriel the Archangel Church in Cave Creek, Ariz., Jeff Grant/THE CATHOLIC SUN