There are moments when my heart feels alive and is beating with fervor, and one of those moments was during the second 5th Vital Sign Class, a fertility-awareness series for single women presented by the Diocese of Phoenix Office of Natural Family Planning, where we learned about God’s beautiful design for marriage through Theology of the Body and the horrors of contraception that completely go against His plan.
For a while, I thought it was watching Disney princess movies growing up that planted a desire in my heart to be swept away by my prince charming and live happily ever after. In the past few years, I’ve realized that this is a beautiful desire from the Lord. Through prolonged seasons of waiting, it’s felt like it’s an unmet desire, an ache that will always reside in my chest.
I felt a deep sense of belonging as Armida Escarcega, the NFP office coordinator, explained that all women inherited this ache from Eve, an ache to be loved unconditionally.
In recent years, I’ve felt deep consolation as my eyes have been open to the reality that I’m already loved in this way by Jesus the Bridegroom, who’s been pursuing me since day one.
Escarcega also spoke into this, reminding me of Isaiah 62:5, that says that God wants to marry us. I caught myself smiling as Escarcega said that in marriage, we get to put a face to what unconditional love looks like and a love that points to the unconditional love of Jesus.
I couldn’t help but call to mind the man who I’m dating, the man who I know God placed in my life and will one day, God-willing, be my husband. I felt a deep sense of gratitude in that moment, knowing that God has a plan for me to one day experience unconditional love through my husband, who will mirror the love that God has for me.
Until my wedding day, that ache still resides in my heart, and even after my wedding day, that ache will reside as my husband and I will fail and try again and again to reflect the love that Jesus shows us. As Escarcega reminded us, it’s an ache that will be in our hearts until Heaven. And on that day, I will sigh and say, “At last!” As I behold the face of my Beloved Bridegroom.
I’m still overwhelmed with the beauty of God’s design and this deep desire on my heart to give and receive love in a self-sacrificial way. It’s a desire woven into the fabric of all of our hearts that we all experience in Jesus’ love and the vocation He calls us to.
After this beautiful explanation of God’s design that had my heart singing, I was heartbroken to hear of the reality of contraception which puts up barriers between married couples and completely contradicts everything that marriage is, a covenant that is meant to be free, total, faithful, and fruitful. As Hailey Yeager, a NFP instructor with the diocese articulated, contraception breaks apart what makes up women, and contraception breaks apart what makes up men.
I was left wondering how I can fully embrace God’s beautiful design while also living in this broken world. After taking this class, I feel a greater conviction to reject everything the culture says about contraception and to instead love in a self-sacrificial way. This is something I can practice right now as I continue preparing my heart for marriage and also as I prepare for the eternal wedding feast in Heaven where I will one day behold my True Love and exclaim, “At last!”
For more information, or to sign up for the next class opening, please contact nfp_admin@dphx.org or 602-354-2122. Follow us on Instagram at @phoenix.nfp.
